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Am I Prepared for Marriage?

Am I Prepared for Marriage? Dating vs Hanging Out Is this a date or are we just hanging out? The question that we all ask ourselves! But what’s the difference anyways? Does it matter which one it is? Dallin H. Oaks, a leader in the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints says that it does matter! In 2005 in an address to young single adults, Dallin H. Oaks addressed this question. He began by talking about an article from Time Magazine that stated that, “the years from 18 to 25 have become “a distinct and separate life stage, a strange, transitional never-never land between adolescence and adulthood in which people stall for a few extra years, [postponing] … adult responsibility.” There is a tendency for young adults to postpone adult responsibilities and marriage. According to Oaks, “Knowledgeable observers report that dating has nearly disappeared from college campuses and among young adults generally. It has been replaced by something called ‘hanging out’.” Hanging out includes a group of friends doing an activity together or just spending time together. It could also include 2 people, spending time together, with no particular purpose or plan. Dating on the other hand is paired off, planned, and depending on the activity, paid for. it is “hanging out” with the intentions to marry. But why date rather than just hang out? It can be very tempting to just want to “hang out”. After all, it is cheaper, easier, and a whole lot less pressure! But what is the purpose of dating? It is to get to know someone in all situations of life, to have fun together, and to find the person you want to spend forever with. Hanging out does not accomplish this purpose. It is hard to learn very much about someone when they are always around others or when you aren’t doing a wide variety of activities together. Hanging out is too casual. Dating should be taken very seriously! Conversations Once you’ve found someone that you like and you start exclusively dating, then what? Once you get passed all the simple get to know you questions, it might be time to start taking things more seriously. What are some conversations that must be had before you consider marrying someone? Here’s a list from Brides.com of a few important questions that must be asked before marriage. 1. Do you want children? 2. What are your financial goals? 3. What is your biggest fear? 4. What does marriage mean to you? And a few more that I would add- 5. What are your expectations of marriage? 6. What is your current family like and what would you like your future family to be like? 7. What are your religious views and beliefs? Selecting a Life Partner There will come a point, where it is time to select the person you want to spend your life with. How can you know it’s the right choice? I think there are a few important aspects to consider to know if you are ready to marry someone. * You know them well. You have seen them in a wide variety of circumstances and observed the way they handle or react to certain situations. You know their family, their likes and dislikes, and their goals and aspirations. * You trust them. Marriage is a partnership and it is so important that you are able to trust your partner in all things. * They are your best friend and you love to spend time with them. Through thick and thin, you should want to spend time with your partner. You should support each other and help each other but also laugh and enjoy each other. * You have had the hard conversations and your goals are aligned or similar. After you have asked the important premarital questions, can you see you and your partner being compatible? There are many other things to consider but there are just a few important points that you should think about before getting married. Preparing Yourself Whether you are already married, engaged, dating exclusively, dating a lot of people, or simply not dating anyone right now, there are always things we can do to prepare for marriage (or improve yourself if you are already married). Focusing on personal growth is important. Become the type of person you want to marry. Strive to reach your goals, learn new things, serve others, work on figuring out things from your past, evaluate your habits, and most of all, trust in God. He knows exactly what we need and his timing is perfect! sources: https://www.theknot.com/content/relationship-ready-for-marriage#:~:text=You%20Trust%20Each%20Other&text=If%20you%20see%20that%20your,your%20partner%20becomes%20second%20nature. https://www.brides.com/story/are-you-ready-for-marriage https://www.brides.com/questions-to-ask-before-marriage-5077245

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