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The Wedding & Adjusting to Married Life

The Wedding & Adjusting to Married Life Wedding So your significant other has finally popped the question (Or you popped the question)!! An engagement brings feelings of love and excitement but also can bring stress as wedding planning begins. There are many decisions that need to be made such as the budget, the logistics of the wedding, where the wedding will take place, music and food, who is invited, sending out the invites, finding a photographer, choosing wedding colors, and buying a wedding dress and suit. That is a lot to plan! Today in the United States, weddings tend to be big and elaborate affairs. There are even professional wedding planners that can be hired to make your wedding planning easier. But even with a wedding planner, a wedding is likely going to be expensive. In 2009, the average cost for a wedding was $27,800. Oftentimes, the pressure of planning the wedding is placed on the bride and her family and this can sometimes cause tension between the couple and the families. Is it worth it? Spending so much money on a wedding, that lasts one day, seems like a bad way to start off your life together. The purpose of marriage isn’t to create a big production and I think sometimes all the hustle and bustle of a marriage makes us forget the true purpose of marriage. Adjusting to Marriage Now that you’ve gotten married, everything will be perfect and easy, right? There are lots of different adjustments that happen as we enter into married life, and sometimes those adjustments can be difficult. A lot of times, expectations in marriage are not met but that doesn't mean marriage isn't a positive thing. There are different phases that we go through in our lives and we have to be ready to adapt and change through those different phases. Here are a few things that take some adjustment at the beginning of a marriage: Money and Finances The first adjustment that has to be made is how money is viewed and managed. Some couples choose to combine their bank accounts and some choose to keep them separate but either way, what’s mine and what’s yours can be a very important conversation to be had. It is important to include each other in financial decisions. This can be a big adjustment for people but you no longer have to just worry about providing for yourself anymore, there is another person that also needs to be taken care of. Communication The next thing that changes is the way that you communicate with your partner. Many couples' arguments come from misunderstandings or a lack of good communication. After marriage, different topics need to be talked about and life becomes a bit more real. Life gets busy, and communication lacks. As I stated earlier, life is full of different phases and it is important to be able to adjust to those different phases and figure out what works for you and your spouse at that point of your life. Selfishness or Selflessness When you get married, it is no longer just you anymore. You go from “What do I want” and “How should I live my life” to “What do WE want” and “How do WE want to live our life”. It is putting your partner's needs before your own. In-Laws When you get married, you join another family. Learning how to deal with your spouse's family can also be a big adjustment for many. Responsibilities There is an adjustment that comes as you decide whose responsibilities are whose. Household chores, finances, cooking, etc. You also have to decide which responsibilities you are going to share. Marriage isn’t an endless honeymoon. There are hard times but there are also lots of good times. What is important is that your love and commitment to each other help you get through those hard times.

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